Powerlessness

I am powerlessness over most aspects of my physical appearance. I can not diet away my broad shoulders and transform into a different human being. I am not in control of outside elements like sickness and natural events in my life that change my body. I cannot control my life by controlling my body. I cannot manage my obsessive thoughts about food and my cravings for junk food. There is no trophy I will win for being ten lbs lighter. My worth as a person does not depend on my ability to be tiny and perfect. I am powerless over white flour and sugar.

I cannot control or choose how much money I will earn by wishing the situation was different. If a job is not a good fit for me, I cannot change it to become one. I do not have control over how people view me, especially interviewers. I cannot change the past by ruminating on things that happened when I was using. I do not have control over who says yes to me. Obsessing about money does not change my financial situation in any way. I do not have control over larger forces at play in the economy like the recession or Wall Street. Ignoring student debt makes everything worse. I am overspending because it offers me immediate gratification because I feel hopeless in the long run.

Graduation Pictures

Instead of walking the stage I hosted my own celebration and asked my friends to dress up, dance and take pictures. It turns out that everyone's secret desire is to be a librarian.

Here are some "guybrarians":



Here I am throwing my hat:



....and very serious in my new profession:



Every librarian must have a puppy:



Now back to sending resumes...

Gasp, I love this Song

"Every Day Is Exactly The Same" (NIN)

I believe I can see the future
Cause I repeat the same routine
I think I used to have a purpose
But then again
That might have been a dream
I think I used to have a voice
Now I never make a sound
I just do what I've been told
I really don't want them to come around

Oh, no

[Chorus:]
Every day is exactly the same
Every day is exactly the same
There is no love here and there is no pain
Every day is exactly the same

I can feel their eyes are watching
In case I lose myself again
Sometimes I think I'm happy here
Sometimes, yet I still pretend
I can't remember how this got started
But I can tell you exactly how it will end

I'm writing on a little piece of paper
I'm hoping someday you might find
Well I'll hide it behind something
They won't look behind
I'm still inside here
A little bit comes bleeding through
I wish this could have been any other way
But I just don't know, I don't know what else I can do

Reposted from Djmermaid

I really liked this.

*****

Juxtaposition of Facts

I haven't posted a lot of political stuff, and I am getting very tired of the name calling and immaturity I'm seeing around this election. Let's please try to stick to FACTS and POLICY and drop the bullshit!

This caught my eye and I found it very interesting:

A question of perspective :

Obama/Biden vs McCain/Palin, what if things were switched around?

Would the country's collective point of view be different?

Ponder the following:

What if the Obamas had paraded five children across the stage, including a three month old infant and an unwed, pregnant teenage daughter?

What if John McCain was a former president of the Harvard Law Review?

What if Barack Obama finished fifth from the bottom of his graduating class?

What if McCain had only married once, and Obama was a divorcee?

What if Obama was the candidate who left his first wife after a severe disfiguring car accident, when she no longer measured up to his standards?

What if Obama had met his second wife in a bar and had a long affair while he was still married?

What if Michelle Obama was the wife who not only became addicted to pain killers but also acquired them illegally through her charitable organization?

What if Cindy McCain graduated from Harvard?

What if Obama had been a member of the Keating Five? (The Keating Five were five United States Senators accused of corruption in 1989, igniting a major political scandal as part of the larger Savings and Loan crisis of the late 1980s and early 1990s. Look it up on Google to learn more.)

What if McCain was a charismatic, eloquent speaker?

What if Obama couldn't read from a teleprompter?

What if Obama was the one who had military experience that included discipline problems and a record of crashing seven planes?

What if Obama was the one who was known to display publicly, on many occasions, a serious anger management problem?

What if Michelle Obama's family had made their money from beer distribution?

What if the Obamas had adopted a white child?

You could easily add to this list. If these questions reflected reality, do you really believe the election numbers would be as close as they are?

This is what racism does. It covers up, rationalizes and minimizes positive qualities in one candidate and emphasizes negative qualities in another when there is a color difference.

Educational Background:

Barack Obama:
Columbia University - B.A. Political Science with a Specialization
in International Relations.
Harvard - Juris Doctor (J.D.) Magna Cum Laude

Joseph Biden:
University of Delaware - B.A. in History and B.A. in Political Science.
Syracuse University College of Law - Juris Doctor (J.D.)

vs.

John McCain:
United States Naval Academy - Class rank: 894 of 899

Sarah Palin:
Hawaii Pacific University - 1 semester
North Idaho College - 2 semesters - general study
University of Idaho - 2 semesters - journalism
Matanuska-Susitna College - 1 semester
University of Idaho - 3 semesters - B.A. in Journalism

Education isn't everything, but this is about the two highest offices in the land as well as our standing in the world. You make the call.

The Pros and Cons of Moving to Austin

Pros: I will have friends there already and thus support.
My girlfriends Yvette and Sandra will probably come with me and share an apartment.
The cost of living will be incredibly cheap.
I can complete graduate school remotely and graduate in May.
Seasons?
Indie Music/Burner Scene
A fucking Fresh Start!
The end of terrible traffic and Westside/Eastside Commuting.

Cons:
No T
I will probably have to take a low paying temporary job that might drive me crazy.
No Mom.
Very little money to start out with (fear of going broke and starving)
No Health Insurance until I get sponsered again.
Humidity.
Surrounded by Texas.

Thoughts?